"An embarrassing waste of time, and nothing even resembling the guiltiest of guilty pleasures"
'“It’s an assemblage of spare parts—it has no emotional grip… an epic without a dream.”
"Fight Club aspires to be a movie of ideas, but its creator's mindset is that of some smart-alecky teenager who has picked up on a topical social phenomenon, invested it with a spurious nihilism which he clearly imagines to be half-Nietzschean, half-Scorsesean, but still can't conceal the real energy behind his work, the obscene and infantile energy of 'go and shoot some dismembered bodies'."
'They all plod along while sometimes dazzling, sometimes boring special effects whiz by and Ford's climactic confrontation with Hauer approaches. Instead of tension building, though, things are grinding to a halt, including Hauer's gears.
Welcome to Brewtal Reviews! The web's only site bringing beer, wine, spirits, and Heavy Metal together! I think. If not then one of a few. Whatever, I'm not omniscient like Ziltoid.
Before we get into the reviews, I just wanted to write a few words. Sometimes a reviewer just doesn't see things the way most others do, as these review snippets for The Boondock Saints, Star Wars, Fight Club, and Blade Runner make clear. We might be furious, wondering what the hell these people were thinking/smoking when they wrote what they did, but in reality it's OK.
While many of us think that reviews should be objective, informing readers (or viewers) ABOUT the items being reviewed without opinion, that's really not possible or even desirable. Every statement being made is an expression of the reviewer's viewpoint, a reflection of their views and values, and ultimately of their opinion, and like assholes, we all have an opinion - and there's a lot of both out in the world.
Why do I bring this up? Because I'm laying out the framework of this blog. My goal here is to provide reviews of beer, wine, spirits, and items relating to these libations, in relation to Heavy Metal. This is already an insane goal; there is no room for objectivity here. I will unapologetically be providing opinions here, which you may or may not agree with. I'm fine with either. I will be happy if my opinions cause you to think a bit about what you're reading, and even more so, if they help you discover something new, whether it be drink or music.
Here's the one thing to know. I am not a sommelier or a cicerone. Attaining these titles is on my bucket list, but I can claim to be neither at the time of writing. I'm a regular guy writing from the perspective of a regular guy, trying to drink and listen to what I like, and share that information with others. I will lay out factual information where I can, but the heart of a review is the opinion, which you may not agree with. My inclination is to be as positive as possible with most things, though I can't help be negative if I drink something that tastes like rotting ass. I'm pretty sure that if I say my experience was like licking Satan's taint it won't be for something most of us would consider to be delicious.
A few other points:
'“It’s an assemblage of spare parts—it has no emotional grip… an epic without a dream.”
"Fight Club aspires to be a movie of ideas, but its creator's mindset is that of some smart-alecky teenager who has picked up on a topical social phenomenon, invested it with a spurious nihilism which he clearly imagines to be half-Nietzschean, half-Scorsesean, but still can't conceal the real energy behind his work, the obscene and infantile energy of 'go and shoot some dismembered bodies'."
'They all plod along while sometimes dazzling, sometimes boring special effects whiz by and Ford's climactic confrontation with Hauer approaches. Instead of tension building, though, things are grinding to a halt, including Hauer's gears.
Welcome to Brewtal Reviews! The web's only site bringing beer, wine, spirits, and Heavy Metal together! I think. If not then one of a few. Whatever, I'm not omniscient like Ziltoid.
Before we get into the reviews, I just wanted to write a few words. Sometimes a reviewer just doesn't see things the way most others do, as these review snippets for The Boondock Saints, Star Wars, Fight Club, and Blade Runner make clear. We might be furious, wondering what the hell these people were thinking/smoking when they wrote what they did, but in reality it's OK.
While many of us think that reviews should be objective, informing readers (or viewers) ABOUT the items being reviewed without opinion, that's really not possible or even desirable. Every statement being made is an expression of the reviewer's viewpoint, a reflection of their views and values, and ultimately of their opinion, and like assholes, we all have an opinion - and there's a lot of both out in the world.
Why do I bring this up? Because I'm laying out the framework of this blog. My goal here is to provide reviews of beer, wine, spirits, and items relating to these libations, in relation to Heavy Metal. This is already an insane goal; there is no room for objectivity here. I will unapologetically be providing opinions here, which you may or may not agree with. I'm fine with either. I will be happy if my opinions cause you to think a bit about what you're reading, and even more so, if they help you discover something new, whether it be drink or music.
Here's the one thing to know. I am not a sommelier or a cicerone. Attaining these titles is on my bucket list, but I can claim to be neither at the time of writing. I'm a regular guy writing from the perspective of a regular guy, trying to drink and listen to what I like, and share that information with others. I will lay out factual information where I can, but the heart of a review is the opinion, which you may not agree with. My inclination is to be as positive as possible with most things, though I can't help be negative if I drink something that tastes like rotting ass. I'm pretty sure that if I say my experience was like licking Satan's taint it won't be for something most of us would consider to be delicious.
A few other points:
- There will be cursing. If you can't deal with seeing words like fuck, ass, or shitefish, then this probably isn't the right blog for you. Also I just wanted to say shitefish. Thank you Orphan Black for giving me the obscure reference I never knew I needed.
- We all need money. To that end, I am monetizing this site. This is being done with ads and affiliate links. My Amazon links provide me with a couple of cents for every purchase you make using one of those links. I tell you this to be up front with you. You are not being charged any more or less using one of my Amazon affiliate links. You will pay the same amount as you would have if you used a standard link, but I will also make a little money as well if you use my link. We all win. Just bear in mind, Amazon changes pricing on items all the time. This has nothing to do with the links I post. Use https://camelcamelcamel.com/ to track Amazon pricing, not just for my links, but for anything you're looking for.
- I enjoy craft beer and products made by small businesses. This does not mean I do not also enjoy products made by macro breweries/wineries/distilleries. I have found that not every craft item is wonderful, and not all macro product is awful.
- The photos will get better over time. I wanted to jump right into this and I did so before creating a photo zone for the products I will review.
- This intro may, and will likely change as this blog evolves.
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